When she was all done, and had blow-dried it, I was happy that I had a nice haircut in time for Christmas.
The next morning, after I'd washed and dried it myself, I came to this conclusion: She must have just snipped at the air around my head while distracting me with small talk. I have the same sad-looking mop I had before. She obviously decided I didn't need any hair cut off, and that I would only get mad at her later if she did. So she shampooed my hair, got me all relaxed and happy, got me talking about my kids, while she played with my hair and went, snip, snip, snip with the scissors. Then she worked her magic with the blow-dryer and round brush, as I sat there all content in that chair. By the time she was done, my hair had never felt so soft and fluffy, and never looked so perfect. I tipped her generously, and practically danced out of the salon, unaware that she hadn't done a darn thing.
So much for my first haircut in 9 months!