One day I was looking through some very old posts, and thought it would be fun to revisit them by replying with a letter to my younger self. Here is one from 2009, when I was a frustrated young mom trying not to look frumpy at least some of the time. You'll have to bear with me through the sheer frivolity of it, and the bad grammar. I couldn't make up my mind whether to use first person plural or second person when talking about my current self and younger self, so I did both.
Oh my goodness! We got home from the Fair Oaks Mall in Fairfax, VA, about an hour ago. We were there for four hours +, I've never seen so much denim in my life, and we came home with nothing!
I have been wishing for a nice, flattering, comfortable pair of jeans that are casual enough to be worn every day, but can be dressed up a little with nice boots and a top. All my jeans sag on my butt. They are not cute, they are raggedy. I have a hole in the knee of my Old Navy jeans that I bought a couple years ago, not because I really liked them, but because they'd do, and they were dirt-cheap. Well, they did their time. I won't even go into all the other pairs of jeans I have and hate for one reason or another. I have bought so many pairs of jeans in the last 15 years, and I don't think I've ever had even one good pair.
During our hour-long drive to the biggest mall around, I told Tim I would walk away today, rather than waste money on another pair of jeans that is less than perfect. I never in a million years thought that that's exactly what would happen!
I must have tried on 25 pairs of jeans, and looked at 100 more. I kept throwing them on and strutting out to show Tim. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. No way, get back in there!
I'm in a real conundrum. Whenever I shop in the "grownup" departments, or stores like the Gap, Express, Banana Republic, etc., they didn't carry anything small enough for me. Or maybe they were all sold out of them that day. Everything is too roomy. I know that I ought to be thanking my lucky stars for this, as a 30-year-old who's given birth twice, but I'm frustrated.
So the solution ought to be in the junior departments, or stores like American Eagle or Aeropostale, you'd think. Well, someone decided that all teenagers need to wear ultra low-rise jeans, that barely come up over the crack. These jeans hug me the way I want, but they are not meant to be worn while changing a diaper on the floor. Why can't any of them come up any higher? I want a pair of jeans that will not give me a muffin-top, is that too much to ask?
Tim thinks I ought to just suck it up and wear low-rise jeans because he thinks they flatter me, but I say, no way! I am not settling for jeans I'm not comfortable in, and I don't care what they look like.
Dear Rachael from 2009,
Oh my goodness! You were not being dramatic. It really was that bad, and I've seen a lot of things come and go since then. There ought to be a class-action lawsuit for all of us who were victimized by low-rise jeans.
I've got good news and bad news from 2025. The good news: it gets SO much better. The bad news? Buckle up because it gets a lot worse first.
You're going to phase out your low rise bootcuts and flares in favor of low rise skinny jeans, and that will be it for awhile. They'll look good with tall boots, and you'll feel really put together for your date nights, fun family outings and school events when you throw on a long top or sweater over that combo. And your top will really need to be long, better yet kind of loose too, because that low-rise waistband creates a muffin top. Sometimes you'll pull the look off well, and other times the proportions will be a little off. Your super-duper low-rise jeans and your super long top will elongate your torso and make your legs look shorter.
When you get home from whatever it was you needed real clothes for, you will waste no time peeling the shrink-wrap off your calves and you'll exhale with relief when you're wearing something comfy. Fortunately for us, we can mostly get by with comfy clothes or workout clothes, which often double as comfy clothes. The word "athleisure" will enter your vocabulary at some point.
You're never going to be a paragon of fashion, and that's perfectly OK. Sometimes you just want to look presentable and feel good about yourself, and right now that is really hard for you. You only have a couple things in your closet that look nice, and you hate wearing them. Most days it's the same old yoga pants and ponytail; it's hard to make an effort when you're wrangling toddlers.😬
But hang in there, I promise things are going to start to turn around.
Somewhere around 2014 or 2015, you'll start to follow a blog that will change your life. It's called Putting Me Together, and the lovely Audrey is going to help you dress for your body type, build a mix-and-match wardrobe, and even point you in the direction of a pair of jeans that isn't torture to wear. You'll order them from Nordstrom, free shipping both ways. Yes, it will be a little spendier than you're used to, but one good pair of jeans is worth more than a closet full of cheap, crappy ones, trust me. At some point soon after that, low rise will yield to midrise and even higher. Best of all, within another few years, skinny jeans will become just one option of MANY.
You'll be a kid in a candy store with all the possibilities. There's mid-rise, high-rise, and sky-high-rise; full length and cropped, straight, wide, flare, bootcut, and trouser. There are mom jeans, dad jeans, girlfriend and boyfriend jeans. Only a select few are in our closet; in fact I have to remind myself I don't need them all. But every pair I do own passes the "changing a diaper on the floor" test. Ask me how I know.😉
Sincerely,
Rachael from 2025
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| Cropped raw hem jeans with Birkenstocks forever! |
