Timmy's First Communion and Tim Sr.'s visit

Timmy reached a big milestone this past weekend: his first Holy Communion. 

Quick story about that banner: We had been told in advance that while we were at the First Communion retreat a couple weeks ago, we'd be given the materials to take home so we could make the banners at our leisure. What happened instead was we were put in a room for the last hour of the retreat and told to make one NOW. It was like "Go!" and everyone started running around gathering materials. There was no time to plan it out -- just a quick Google image search, Timmy picked one, and then we commenced cutting and gluing at a furious pace. It was like one of those cooking competition shows on TV. Many parent-and-kid teams managed to produce professional looking banners under this pressure, but Timmy's looks like two kids did it. I will say, however, that we had good teamwork, and I enjoyed doing this project with him, especially since we seem to butt heads often these days. He has strong will and big emotions which, once he learns to rein them in, will make him into a great man like his father.

I love the way the light shines through the stained glass windows in the evenings. 

Grandy says it best.

Tim Sr. came down to visit for a few days, and Carolyn would have come with him, but her doctor advised against travel while she recovered from a horrible bout of flu. We missed her. We didn't turn on Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy! for the whole time.😞 Not that there was anything stopping us, but if Grandma had been there, she wouldn't have let us forget! The Bruins game can wait.

While he was here, Tim and I got to use their anniversary gift to us -- dinner for just the two of us at Chef and the Farmer an hour away in Kinston, N.C. I had no idea what to expect, but Tim has watched A Chef's Life on PBS many times, and he had planned ahead what to order. I was glad because I really don't like making these decisions. I worried he was ordering too much food for us, but in the end we only took home half a pizza. The food was to-die-for delicious! We shared all the courses except for our entrees. The beef tartare was my absolute favorite, with the berries and bacon pizza a close second. While he had steak for his entree, he ordered me the North Carolina tile fish with miso pesto and red peas. I devoured it all. Apparently I love red peas, which I heretofore did not know existed. On the way home in the car, I told him we need to come back here one more time before we move. He did not agree, since his experience hadn't been quite as good as mine. His steak had fallen short of his expectations. He does that every time, and there is a growing list of restaurants that he or we have been to, that have stellar reputations, but the steak just is not up to par according to Tim. He'll never learn to not order steak until he gets back to that place in NYC that he hasn't stopped talking about, that set an impossibly high bar for steaks everywhere. He kind of smirked at me and acted like it was going to be a looong while before we go out to a pricey restaurant. I took the opportunity to remind him that "I wasn't this fancy when you met me. This is all your doing. I was like let's go out to Ruby Tuesday, and I'll have a Bud Lite, but then I met you and you made me into a foodie and a 'drinkie' ... and you have yourself to blame for that."

Except for the steak.

(Blogger is insisting that these last two paragraphs be centered rather than aligned left, so I guess I'll just go with it and make the whole thing centered.)

Besides a First Communion and a date night, we spent the rest of our time at soccer games and practices, hanging out at home, or doing our favorite New Bern things -- the waterfront, Cow Cafe, and downtown. This is the prettiest little city to live in, and it's the best time of year for walking around.

Joey is crazy about Grandpa.

My 1st Grade homework: a letter to Timmy

Timmy is "Croc of the Week" at school this week, and as part of that, I was given an assignment due Wednesday (and it's already done, yay me) to write a letter for his teacher to read to the class. She said it could be a short story, a poem, or even a series of photos and/or stories about him. I thought about what creative approach I could take, but in the end I just went with sappy. I ended up cutting my rambles down a bit, keeping in mind it was going to be read out loud to a classroom full of fidgety first graders.

Dear Timmy,

Since it's Month of the Military Child and you are Croc of the Week, I can't think of a better opportunity to let you know what a terrific kid your daddy and I think you are.

You were born here in New Bern, in the midst of a 10-month deployment. You were the easiest baby ever -- laid-back and along for the ride, full of smiles. What a special gift you were and are. You met your daddy the first time when you were six months old, and I was worried you'd be scared of him, but you acted like you'd always known him. He deployed again only a year later. You had to get used to lots of change in your life right from the very beginning.

Image by Melinda Pepper Photography

From the time you could walk, you've been the child who keeps us on our toes. Sometimes you get it in your head that there's a different, better way to do something; or a quicker or more interesting way to get where the rest of us are going. It can be exasperating, but I know that independent streak is going to serve you well one day. You can be super stubborn, too. We've butted heads plenty of times, but I know that stubbornness  -- let's call it tenacity -- is going to be very useful to you too, getting through life.

You are inquisitive, always wanting to know the how and why of everything. You like to share the interesting things you read in your books. Recently you were telling me about the world record for the longest nose and the longest beard. Books are the best food for your inquiring mind, so I'm glad you're a reader.

You have such a good heart. Today you offered your sister your sweatshirt when she was complaining about the cold, even though she hadn't been nice to you. To me, that was nicer than the prettiest bouquet of flowers you could have handed me. Always be kind to people, whether they deserve it or not. You will be so blessed for that. I know it's not easy, especially with a sibling. Now that Joey's not a baby anymore, you've got him to contend with too, always wanting whatever you have and shattering glass with his shrieks when he doesn't get it.

Your life is a revolving door of people and places, always another hello or goodbye. We can see that this latest move has been the hardest adjustment for you. This new neighborhood doesn't have as many kids, and it's harder for you to find someone to play with. There isn't much we can do about that, except to remind you of this: no matter where we go, the thing that never changes is that you've got us.

We are so proud of you, bub.

Love,
Mama

20 Questions for Timmy at Age 5

1. Who is your favorite person in the world? You.

2. What is your favorite color? Dark blue.

3. What is your favorite show? Paw Patrol.

4. What is your favorite outfit? Um.. My jet shirt. What else? My black running pants.

5. What is your favorite sport? Basketball.

6. What is your favorite song? Cruise (by Florida Georgia Line)

7. What is your favorite cereal? Dinosaur oatmeal.

8. Who is your best friend? Riley.

9. What do you want to be when you grow up? A military policeman. Don't pull me over and search my car with dogs, OK? I'm gonna search you..

10. What is your favorite book? The Paw Patrol library book.

11. What are you really good at? Basketball.

12. Where do you wish you could go on vacation? New York City.

13. What is your best memory? The cruise with Grandma and Grandpa.

14. What would you buy if you had a thousand dollars? You know, a big box of cars.

15. What is your favorite vegetable? Apples.

16. If you could have a wish, what would it be? To go to Disneyland.

17. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Monster mint.

18. Who is your biggest hero? Daddy.

19. What do you like to do with your friends? Play soccer.

20. What do you hope to do before your next birthday? I don't really know.

Things my kids do that I love them for

As all good parents know, we have to love our kids even when they're stinkers. And our kids have their share of stinkerish moments -- the kind that make us look at each other and say, 'What are we doing wrong?' 'Where do they learn this stuff?' There are a lot of discouraging moments in parenting. But we have to just keep at it and remind ourselves and each other that this too shall pass, and they can't be much worse than anyone else's kids.

Then there are times when they make us so proud, and it's easy to love them. These moments can be fleeting, and I'm sure there are plenty more than the ones that come off the top of my head. I want to write them down and make sure I don't forget them.

First, the one that gave me the idea to write this post: Delaney. For all her good characteristics, she has never been the kid we would call our most generous. Generosity is something we try to encourage in all the kids, but she would be the one least likely to share the bag of popcorn she brought home from school with her siblings, for example. It just wouldn't occur to her. We try to be patient about that, especially me, because I know I have plenty of selfish tendencies. When I'm browsing Pinterest, let's face it, 9 times out of 10 I'm looking at stuff that's for ME. Well, the other day, Tim took her and the other kids with him on a quick trip to the Exchange. When they got back, Annie was excitedly telling me that Delaney had gotten the baby a present. Sure enough, Delaney proudly presented me with a baby blanket that she'd used up all her spending money to get. This is not something I took lightly. I know how much easier it is for her to spend a few dollars on a toy for herself. I hugged her and told her what a good kid she is, and how much her baby brother and I appreciate it. (Tim told me as an aside that she had wanted to get this blanket for him last time they were at the Exchange, but hadn't had the money. This time she still hadn't had the money but was looking at it again, so he'd gone halvesies with her on it.)

Annie, our second-born, has for a long time been the one most likely to blow us away with generosity for her siblings. For example, she'll happily offer to buy something for Delaney or Timmy at the dollar store. She shares the bag of popcorn every time. We have always been sure to praise her whenever she does something nice for someone else that we would never ask her to do or expect her to do. Lately, however, I am seeing a new development, a new kind of generosity .. one that I take every opportunity to praise and encourage. It's little things, like a spontaneous offer to help Timmy clean his room or find his shoes, or read him a book. These little things are really a big deal. There was the time not long ago she went to my closet and picked out my outfit for church. It was a better choice than the one I had in mind, and it was kind of refreshing. She has good taste. Annie and I have not always seen eye to eye, and of course she and her siblings still have plenty of moments of strife. But to see this spirit of kindness and helpfulness in her fills me with gratitude and hope. It makes up for the rough times.

Timmy, still the reigning baby of the family, usually doesn't stand out as a big helper or sharer. In fact, he often poses as helpLESS in order to get us all to do things for him. I am especially susceptible to his babyish charms, and I rarely deny his request to pick him up or get him his lovey, or put on the shoes that I know he is perfectly capable of putting on himself. He's not a complete bum. He'll fetch me the water that I don't feel like getting off the couch to get myself, and do things like that. But his most winning characteristic is his sweetness. I watched from the porch one afternoon as he ran down the sidewalk to meet his sisters who had just gotten off the bus. His arms were outstretched. Annie dodged his hug (oh, Annie!) but Delaney bashfully hugged him back. He gives the best hugs. At bedtime he wraps his arms around my neck and squeezes as hard as he can, then asks, "Can you breathe?" He lets go only after he's sure that I can't. When Timmy does something for himself, especially without being asked (like last night when he changed his undies and put on his pajamas), I tell him, "I love it when you do big boy things like that." I want to encourage him to be a little more of a big kid, a little more independent, but keep the sweetness, keep the hugs! 

Our kids are such gifts to each other and to us. We can't claim much (if any) credit for when they do great things, nor should we shoulder the blame for when they do things that disappoint us. They are their own individuals, unique and full of surprises. Like us, they are imperfect. They drive us crazy sometimes, but they are good kids and we love them.

20 questions for Timmy at Age 4

1. Who is your favorite person in the world? Somebody on my soccer team named Jackson.

Timmy recently had his yearly checkup. He is 40.75 inches tall and weighs 35.8 pounds, right around average as always, for his age. He wears size 4 in clothes and size 9 in shoes.

2. What is your favorite color? Black.

3. What's your favorite TV show? Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

4. What's your favorite outfit? One of my school shirts.. [He gets up to look in his closet and points to a navy blue polo shirt]. This one. [I ask him what he likes to wear it with and he goes to the drawer where his pants and shorts are kept.] I like wearing it with these pants [navy blue shorts] because it matches the color.

He has a pesky habit of always needing to "adjust"himself.

5. What sport do you like best? Can I choose any sport? [I nod yes.] I choose soccer because I always play soccer. And it's [his team is] called the Bulldogs.

6. What song do you love? Jake and the Neverland Pirates. [theme song, I guess]

7. What's your favorite cereal? The cookie one.

He loves taking selfies.

8. Who is your best friend? Um... it's 'Other Timmy'. [the little boy down the street]

9. What do you want to be when you grow up? Like a nature guy.

His latest thing is he likes to make me cards. He gets Annie to help him.

10. What is your favorite book? I'll show you it. [He goes to his bookshelf, selects Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel, and holds it up for me.]

He still looks like a baby when he's asleep.

11. What are you really good at? Um.. soccer.

12. Where do you wish you could go on vacation? Disney World.

13. What is your best memory? [This completely stumps him and he shrugs with a smile, his hands up next to his face.] I don't know.

He's playing soccer for the first time and loves it. He just needs to work on listening to his coach a little better, and horsing around with his teammates a little less.

14. What would you buy if you had $1000? I'd buy a box of cars.

15. What is your favorite vegetable? Um.. apples. [That's not a vegetable, that's a fruit! I tell him.] No, it's not. [I won't argue anymore. Let's not make a liar of him anyway, since we all know he doesn't eat any vegetables.]

16. If you could have a wish, what would it be? [Shrugs again. "Anything you wanted, what would it be?" I prompt.] I don't know.

He sort of drives his dad nuts, but he also does really cute things that melt him, and so he says that's why we keep him around.

17. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? The green one.

18. Who is your biggest hero? Well, it's one of my friends.. It's .. I forget.

19. What do you like to do with your friends? Play.

He never eats the crusts of his sandwiches. Come to think of it, he doesn't eat the bread anymore either. Or what goes on the bread.. I don't know what to feed him anymore. He eats snacks for lunch, basically. He fits right in with his picky sisters. I'm pinning my hopes on his baby brother to be the kid in this family who eats.

20. What do you hope you'll get to do before your next birthday? [Shrugs.]

Inspired by my Delaney collage, I will leave you with this one of Timmy at ages 0, 2, and now a big boy of 4. It's been an amazing four years with our little buddy. Just writing this post makes my heart swell with love, pride and gratitude for the gift he is in our lives.

Timmy's First Day of School

Yesterday was the little man's big day when he finally got to ride the bus with his sisters. There was nothing cuter than the sight of him walking around proudly with that big backpack on. He is in half-day pre-k at the same school as Annie. The bus picks him up with the rest of the kids at 7 a.m., and then the bus takes him right back to our front door at a little after 11. This is a very easy school year for me, indeed!

The day before that there was a meet & greet for Timmy's class with the new teacher. The one who had come to our house for the home visit was a sub. Tim came to that too, and it was very nice.

Timmy found his own cubby (even though it says "Timothy" instead of "Timmy") and hung his backpack up in it. He put the school supplies we'd brought into the designated bins. We met his teachers and talked to a couple of the other parents. The little girl two doors down is in his class. Then he made himself right at home in the comfy reading corner.

The next day before dawn, I got him and his sisters up and ready for the day, then out to the sidewalk for the obligatory sign-holding photo. I guess Annie decided she was done with these and would not smile, not even for a Mento.

Around his neck he wore a tag that had his name and teacher's name on it; as well as another tag that has his name and my name, address and phone number. Another tag clipped to his backpack had all the same information. I said, "I think he'll make it back to us."

Timmy's trying to smile for me with the rewarded Mento in his mouth, with Daddy photobombing. So silly.

Then off he went. 

At a little after 11, I went out to the porch to wait with phone in hand, eager to take some pictures as he debarked the bus. The bus drove up, stopped, the door opened, and then .. nothing happened for at least 20 seconds. I figured that getting his carseat unbuckled and getting his stuff together must be taking awhile. The bus driver said, "We got the wrong kid!" Then he laughed and said, "Just kidding." I thought, haha, sure you are. Then my little buddy appeared at the top of the stairs and stopped to buckle the chest clip of his backpack. He saw me with my camera pointed at him and smiled and waved obligingly, never one to pass up a photo op. Never mind that that the bus driver and assistant were trying to get him off the bus so they could drop off the other kids. What a ham.

Mr. P is like, "Get off my bus!":)

Once inside the door he took off his shoes and socks right away, and then showed me the folder full of papers he'd brought home. He said he hadn't fallen asleep on the way home, but he had blinked for a long time. (He was catching flies, alright.) He told me his friend Parker from soccer rode the bus too. I asked him what he'd had for snack and he said, "Nothing! They forgot snack!" 

It's been a big couple of weeks for Timmy with starting school and playing soccer for the first time. He's having a blast, having not so much time to be a couch potato, and going right to sleep every night. These are good things. Now if only I could get used to the 5:30 wake up time..