Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Timmy at 23 months

He's just one month from being a two-year-old.  Hard to believe.  I was just thinking that this is the first time I've had a kid about to turn two without either just having had another baby or about to have another.  I have to say I am really enjoying this!  I'm getting into the best shape of my life, no exaggeration.  I feel strong and healthy.  I'm finally starting to think I (dare I say it?) have it together as a mom of three, at least most of the time.  I like not having to hide out in the house most of the time, especially now that it's summer.  We go to the pool, we go to the beach, and Timmy doesn't just cling to me constantly.  He follows his sisters instead and he's starting to take cues from them in his behavior.  The other day I was actually able to help out a friend who recently became a mom of three and was having kind of a hard time controlling them all at the pool.  I couldn't help but think about how far I've come -- how far we've come.  To be the one lending a hand rather than the one who needs it is something totally new to me, and very refreshing.  To feel like my moments of struggle don't dominate my days anymore is a welcome thing.  It didn't just suddenly happen -- it's been gradually becoming this way over many months -- but I only recently realized it.

I can't say for sure whether we're done having children.  We are trying to be good Catholics and maintain some openness toward it.  Well, Tim is always open to the idea.  He's ready when I am since he understands that I am the one who has to suffer.  So the question of whether another baby is in our future will have to wait.  We're moving next summer to who knows where, so we'll be wanting to avoid having a baby then, that's for sure.  But if we're going to have another I can't put it off forever as I'm not getting any younger.  Today I turn 34.  For now, I am happy to keep my focus on Timmy as the baby because he is at this adorable stage of asserting his independence but at the same time needing me so much still.  I am filled with wonder and joy as I watch him grow and change into a little boy, and so glad to have my lap and arms still open for when he comes running to me.
I told the girls to wake Timmy up yesterday morning, and a few minutes later I came in and found him and Delaney like this.  

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