Thursday, May 26, 2016

A Whiney Post

Today's one of those days I'm so frustrated by life. The weather for this whole week has been gorgeous, sunny and 82, the kind of weather that has me scrolling through pictures of bathing suits (eh!), buying a little sun tent for Joey, and dreaming about the beach. We are a mere 40 minutes away, but with Tim gone on a trip and the kids still in school, that is not a possibility. It's days that feel more like drudgery than anything, when the baby's not sleeping well, and I'm dealing with school nights, early mornings, and the long hours in between.

I've been stalking the weather forecast every day, hoping for decent weather for Saturday. That is the one possible day we have for going to the beach in this entire month. Tim leaves again early Sunday (Memorial Day weekend -- waaaaaahhhhhh!). But it looks like there's a storm ahead, and the forecast gets worse and worse every time I check.

One of the bright spots of these final, frustrating days of the school year is my daily exercise. I got a Fitbit for Mother's Day, and although it's not the most magical piece of gadgetry ever invented, I do like seeing the seeing the data it collects about my activity. I typically get 12K to 15K steps just from a regular day around my house. But I also go running at least a couple times a week, one of those times with our local Stroller Warriors chapter. I try to go for a walk around the neighborhood at least once a day. I also do a short workout video with my next-door neighbor a couple times a week.

On the agenda this morning was just a leisurely stroll. I loaded Joey into the BOB, along with my phone and my water. The air was hot and still, very buggy. I felt like a very prepared mom when I stretched the mosquito net around Joey, securing it to the canopy and the sides of the stroller. No little winged monsters were going to get my baby.

Immediately I started to feel too hot. When it's this humid and there's no breeze, it's miserable outside. These aren't even the hot months yet. Thank God we have a plan to get out of here for most of the summer, instead of being trapped inside our house for most of the day like we were last year.

Many things went through my mind as I walked around our neighborhood. There wasn't a soul out. I always like looking at all the porches. The porches are all huge, and I like seeing how everyone else has them decorated. Some people go all out with the plants; others have nothing alive. There are beautiful wreaths, all manner of seating, and sometimes just a hodgepodge of camping chairs or nothing at all. I noticed like always that some porches have a ceiling fan; most do not. This morning I also noticed the fans were on although no one was out. A pang of jealousy hit. Outdoor spaces here are not usable without a fan unless there's a good breeze. I've tried to make our own porch look welcoming, with a seating area, a table, my ferns that I love, some decor.. But that porch is a LIE, nothing but a facade. No one ever sits there and drinks lemonade. There's no fan. Why couldn't all the houses have a fan on the porch? Do these people know how lucky they are to have a fan?

Although I heard the air-conditioning calling me, I decided to pass our street and loop back around at the next street, as this was probably going to be the only outside time we'd be having today. For whatever reason I glanced down at Joey through the gap between the handlebars and the top of the canopy, and I saw that there were at least three mosquitoes inside there with him! The tiger mosquitoes that leave a golf ball size welt under your skin! So many curse words came to mind, and I flipped that bug net right up, turned around and hauled butt home.

And now I sit on my couch in the air-conditioning, ceiling fan going overhead, thinking: When is school out again? When can we go to the beach? When does Tim get orders, and we can move out of the marsh? (Tim will laugh at this because it wasn't long ago I was in favor of staying here an extra year.) When do we go north again?

Good times are right around the corner, I've just got to hang in there..

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