Monday, May 7, 2018

Grandma and Grandpa's visit, and my first time away from the Fabulous Four

We had our first guests at our new digs here in North Carolina. It was not so much a leisurely visit for them, though. Tim's parents came up last Thursday so they could stay with the kids while I went to join Tim in Quantico, VA for the spouses' portion of Commanders' Course which would be the following Monday through Friday. I documented as much of their visit as I could before I took off Saturday morning. I felt torn between "Freedom!" and "But I don't wanna go!". This would be my first time separated from the 'Fabulous Four' (as Delaney dubs them), not just the 'Big Three'. I have never been apart from my baby for even a night, so I was worried about him missing me, especially at naptime and bedtime. But I'm sure it's obvious to anyone scrolling through these pictures, I had no reason to worry about Joe. He was in heaven with his grandparents there, and I was kind of in the background. I always build things up in my mind to be such a bigger deal than they turn out to be in reality.

Even still, when it came time for me to say goodbye, that was a little tough for us both. Goodbyes are hard for him -- he doesn't even like when we take separate cars to get to the same destination. His sadness is short-lived, though, and out of sight is out of mind to him for the most part. Tim Sr drove us all to drop me at the airport, and I gave each kid a hug and kiss in turn, and told them to be good. Joey cried, saying, "Joey go! Joey go!" I kept the goodbye cheerful and short, telling him I was going on an airplane to see Daddy, and we'd both be back in a few days. Although my heart was heavy, I knew that as soon as the car rounded the bend, he was probably already cheering up. There was too much fun to be had with Grandma and Grandpa to waste time on crying.
I enjoyed two short flights sans kids -- lots of reading and coffee sipping time.😊 Tim picked me up the Reagan Airport, and we had the rest of the weekend all to ourselves. We ate Afghan food the first night and Vietnamese the next. We test-drove a Mustang we had no intention of buying, and did some shopping because I needed to return some things at Old Navy and find a few more pieces to complete my business casual wardrobe for the next few days. No denim allowed! (Did I overthink it? Tim would tell you just a bit.) We went for a run around Quantico, but since I've fallen out of the habit of running, I slowed Tim down too much. We talked to the kids on the phone at least a couple times and I loved hearing how cute they sound on the phone. I asked Tim if he remembered how the older kids, when they were little, never gave him the time of day when he was away and wanted to talk to him on the phone. He said, "I distinctly remember." (He was always so bummed.) We were/are pretty amazed at what a good phone conversationalist Joey is at only age 2. He must have learned from his siblings. It melted my heart to hear his sweet little voice telling me he loved and missed me.
We snapped this right before leaving the room Monday morning.
I didn't sleep much on Sunday night because I was a bundle of nerves. What was there to be so nervous about? It was just a gathering of all husband's peers and their spouses, during which we'd spend time mingling or sitting in an auditorium (sometimes with the Marines, but mostly with other spouses) listening to presentations, or in a classroom in small groups. I anticipated it like the first day of high school. Will I fit in? Will I find anyone to talk to? Eek!

The first day was the hardest, but after that it was OK. Highlights for me were, in no particular order:

 • the spouses' field trip to (and tour of) the Commandant's house at 8th and I
 • when the Commandant and his wife came to talk to us 
 • a presentation that Tim and I got to hear together about generational differences (bottom line: Gen X ruined the Millennials with all their helicoptering, and as a result most young Marines have never made any decisions.)
 • Anytime Tim and I got to have a class together or go to lunch together, which unfortunately didn't happen often. Most of the time our lunches overlapped by maybe a half hour anyway.
 • lunch with a friend from Parris Island
 • dinner with old friends and Tim's soon-to-be Executive Officer
 • When Tim and I visited our pictures at the Homecoming Exhibit at the National Museum of the Marine Corps
 • The barbecue social on the quad. 'Social' is a dirty word to us, like a how early can we get away with leaving? kind of thing. We both had to make an exception here because in the random seating arrangement we ended up with two great couples who were fun to talk to; and the barbecue was delicious and I don't even usually like barbecue. 
So many tulips!😍
I was so glad they scheduled in time for us to get pictures with Chesty.
Quick 'Rachael story' for you: For our tour of the Commandant's house, we were all allowed to wander upstairs and downstairs and go anywhere there wasn't a closed door or a velvet rope. There were Marines stationed in various areas, and one Marine whose main job was to guard a half-million dollar Tiffany lamp. But he could also, like all the others, tell you a story/anecdote about each portrait, piece of furniture, really any object in the room. In the room with the Tiffany lamp, the Marine standing there told us that one of the couches was the one that Grand old Man of the Marine Corps, Archibald Henderson, died on. I asked if I'd get yelled at for sitting on it and he said no. But I prided myself on going through every room and not disturbing a single artifact even though I really wanted to sit when my feet started to hurt. There would be no butt imprint of mine on anything. After an hour or two of us milling around the house, one of the facilitators called, "Ladies, start heading to the exit!" I was already in the foyer and I obediently started walking to the nearest door. I didn't even get to lay a finger on that door though, because out of nowhere a little man in a checked blazer started barking, "No-no-no-no-NO!" as he swept toward me. One of the other ladies I was with grabbed my wrist and playfully slapped it. You can't take me anywhere! So there I am in the picture above, with the Forbidden Door (as close as I dared!) behind me.

We were all dismissed early that day, so Tim and I decided to run to the Marine Corps Museum quickly before it closed. We had already been through the museum a few times before, but we hadn't been back together since our photos had been on display. We got a picture of us next to our photos, and while Tim chatted with the person who'd taken it, I continued down the wall, lingering at each set of pictures and the stories they told. It was a very moving experience to look into all those faces and feel that emotion in my own gut.

Meanwhile, back home, our kids were NOT missing us whatsoever. 
May the 4th
We drove home Friday afternoon and arrived around 8. I was so happy to see all of them. It's not a perspective I often get, going away and coming back. In fact, I think the last time I was away for longer than two nights was our honeymoon. Joey fused himself to my body for the first few minutes, and I held onto him like, I'm never letting you go again!

We thought we'd get Saturday to spend all of us together, but to our disappointment, Tim and Carolyn opted to leave Saturday morning. It's a long drive to Massachusetts, and I think weather was a concern for Sunday. So we were sad to see them go, but happy and grateful they came. We'll see them again next month when they come down for the change of command.

1 comment:

  1. Oh but how lucky to have grandparents who want to sit as much as the kids want to spend the weekend with them! Glad you got some time away.

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